It can be tricky finding someone who is down to fool around. Some people think that I can have whatever guy I want because I'm a girl. You have to deal with a lot of shit when trying to explore your sexuality.
Sometimes it can be very discouraging. It happens to everyone, though. So this week, I wanted to share a few encounters that didn't quite work out.
To explain the first one, I have to give you a little bit of the back story. A few summers ago, Colter and I went to a house party. We had just barely moved to a new town and were trying to make new friends. We had matched with a guy named J. (Read about it here). That night, we fucked him and the girl he was with. There was another couple there as well.
They were on acid, but we connected with them. If things had been slightly different, Colter and I would have been just as happy to hook up with them.
When it was time for them to leave, we walked them to their car. The girl whispered to me. "I want you to kiss my boyfriend." Her hands gripped my head, turning it toward Bam. I gave him a kiss he wouldn't forget.
That was the closest I came. After that, we became pretty good friends with them as a couple, but we never pursued anything sexual again. Eventually, they broke up.
I thought now was the time we could do something with him. But he moved away before we could ever set anything up. So a few more months went by, and he returned with a new girl. Who, to my disappointment, was not down to play.
One weekend Colter and I thought we would hit them up one more time to see if they would be down to play. Bam texted Colter and told Colter that his girl would be out of town but that we should come over to his place and hang for a bit. So we did.
I had been trying to fuck this guy for over a year at this point. We all had a few drinks. To the end, I was pretty fucked up. We almost did something, but it's all about being honest for me. I didn't want to go through with it if it was behind his girl's back. If she had been okay with it or even played too, that would have been great.
It's just never worked out for us, but at least he got to grab on my tits a little.
Sometimes Tinder is a hit, but 9/10 it's a bust. So many people seem to think we're fake or trying to catfish them haha. This guy was one of those.
I had to send him a million pictures to prove I was me. Eventually, he came over. We all had a few beers and talked like normal.
He told me he was kind of coked-out; I don't know if that had something to do with it, but he was very awkward most of the time. I thought maybe if I just made a move on him, it could ease the tension, but he wasn't the most responsive, so I was over it pretty quickly, haha.
You have to go through a lot of rejection if you are trying to explore your sexuality, even more so if it's threesomes or open relationship scenarios. Don't let it discourage you, though, which is always easier said than done; when it does work out, though, it makes it all worth it!
Check out the clips of these failed encounters in the Camera Roll
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